Prioritizing Hobbies (As an Adult)

A lot of us had hobbies and afterschool activities as children. Whether it was soccer practice or chess club or robotics club, almost everyone was involved in some extracurricular at one time or another. We made friends in these clubs and sports and felt a sense of pride in the competition and learning of a new skill. Eventually, we grew up and traded school for work and quickly became weighed down by adult responsibilities. But what happened to our hobbies and extra skills that were shoved aside in favor for more pressing responsibilities? While there never seems to be enough hours in the day, I think it's crucial to retain a hobby you used to enjoy or pick up new ones regularly as an adult.

Having enjoyable hobbies breaks up the monotonous routine and is a healthy way to get back time for yourself. It's so easy to fall into routine: go to work, come home, make dinner, spend time with your family, watch TV or social media, go to bed, and repeat 5x a week. It becomes draining after a while and days begin to bleed together. It's really easy to spend the few hours for yourself doing mind-numbing scrolling through social media. It can leave you feeling really unfulfilled and feel like a time vacuum. I've found the days I look forward to the most are the ones I spend going to my favorite fitness classes, or surfing, or painting, or writing. It differentiates the days from each other and I feel more satisfied going to work the next day knowing I can reward myself with play that is engaging. I feel like I'm growing as a person as I build more and more skills that contribute to who I am as a person. Without hobbies, I feel that I put an overwhelming amount of self-worth on my career and work. While I pride myself in doing well in my career, putting all of my self-worth in my work performance was incredibly stressful - especially in an environment where there is not of positive feedback opportunities. Having other things that I like, and continue to get better at, allows me to view myself a bigger picture. This time is also sacred. It is time I carve out for myself to really enjoy life and be in the moment. I feel more relaxed and my stresses seem less important when I am doing things that bring me purpose and joy.

Having hobbies is also a great way to make friends. I think making friends as an adult is one of the hardest things, especially as someone who doesn't drink often or enjoy crowded events. I have found so many new friendships doing group events like jiu-jitsu classes. Seeing the same people three times a week and working close with them makes it almost impossible not to strike up conversation and form bonds. These people also usually have similar lifestyles and goals. For example, I know my friend from my 6 am fitness class wouldn't want to meet up past 10pm on Sundays because they also wake up early. Being introverted, it's helpful for me to see the same people everyday so I have time to warm up to them. I usually start to get involved in conversations after a few weeks, whereas if I met someone at a one night event, I probably will never speak to them again.

Picking hobbies that my husband and I share an interest in brings us closer together. After a while, you run out of things to talk about dealing with work or at home. You can find yourself sitting across your partner at a fancy meal with just nothing left to talk about. My husband and I are both very into fitness so we take jiu-jitsu, surf, run, and work out together. After class, I'm so excited to tell him about the arm bar we learned and he'll practice with me. We love packing up the surfboards and laying out in the water on a hot summer day, catching waves as the roll by. It allows us to spend the quality time we crave without sitting down and sharing Instagram Reels with each other for hours. We come back home exhausted but so happy. This weekend we caught the same wave and stood on our longboards grinning at each other like fiends, whooping at each other with our knees bent as the wave pushed us all the way to the rocky shore. We hopped off laughing and fist bumping each other just to do it all over again. It was an absolute giddy feeling and I feel so lucky I get to share moments like these with my husband.

I think a lot of adults get scared starting new hobbies. And I wont lie - it is scary. "What if I'm bad?' "What if everyone else is judging me the whole time?" "I don't know anyone there!" The first couple days are bound to be a little uncomfortable as you learn the ropes and try to remember the new names and faces at the same time. Usually after the first week or two, I get so excited I completely forget all my fears and realize they were unrealistic anyway. Sticking with the hobby and seeing it through guarantees you'll have a group of people who support you. Maybe they even say hi when you pass each other on the street too. It feels good to belong to a group, no matter what it is. It's something that was so common when we were young that I think we forget about the benefits of belonging to a group with similar interests.