Retaliation

Warning: this short story contains themes of violence and physical abuse. While in a fantasy setting these are strong themes. Please take care of yourself and be careful before proceeding.

He mustn’t know. Ever. Evereverever.

My heart raced in pace with my feet as I stormed down the hall, my nightgown billowing behind me. My lips still tingled where they had met Darius’. We had been so close, breaths mingling, that all of my sense had rushed out of my body. Lucien would kill me for this. He’d rather see both of us dead than lose a modicum of control over me.

Shit were those footsteps?

A soft padding sound echoed off the stone walls. I could see my door just ahead. I quickened my pace as fast as I could while keeping my steps light in an awkward shuffle. The footsteps were growing louder ahead of her. She sent up a prayer that the hallway was too dark to see anything. In any case, they sounded too light and hurried to be Lucien’s steps. I squeezed myself through my door, swiftly clicking it shut behind me. My heart rate thundered as the steps approached my door, but they continued on, never breaking stride.

I sagged in relief. With a few moments to myself, I had time to reflect. I had truly felt elation course through my body, not at the kiss itself, but a momentary sense of freedom from Lucien’s iron grip. Darius was a fine kisser, but nothing could compare to the sheer relief that flooded me, that someone other than Lucien was touching me. Perhaps I gave Lucien too much credit. After all, he was just a man. A cruel man, but far from a god. I tucked myself back into bed, relishing the deep breaths that came more easily.

**********************

I sat reading in the library, my eyes skipping across yellowed pages. I looked up, already feeling Lucien’s presence. My palms began to sweat as he approached, but he appeared to be in good spirits, gaze light and smiling softly at me. He perched against the desk I was sitting at, looking over at my reading materials.

“How are you today, my dear?”

I felt my nerves skitter across my skin. He didn’t usually use terms of endearment, preferring not to reference me directly.

“I’m well, and you?” I returned. I pushed a piece of paper into the tome to save my place , closing it to allow Lucien my full attention.

“Mm. I’m alright.” He leaned down as if to place a kiss upon my cheek. His hand slithered up my neck. He pulled my hair at the scalp, forcing my eyes upward. “I had trouble sleeping. I kept hearing the patter of little mice in the halls.”

My blood ran cold. We were interrupted by someone else entering the library. Lucien promptly released my hair, my scalp tingling. Out, I needed to get out. My eyes didn’t make it to the door, instead catching Darius’ eyes in a moment of horrifying realization.

“Thank you for arriving so soon, Darius,” Lucien said pleasantly. Even though his back was now turned to me, I could hear the predatory smile creeping into his voice. I backed away from the desk slowly, ready to run. Unfortunately, the only exit was through the front doors that closed quickly behind Darius.

“Of course, sir,” Darius replied, a slight tremor working its way into his voice.

“Now, when I told you to comfort my pet, I did not mean with your lips. I’m afraid we’ll have to rectify your mistake.” Lucien said icily.

My thoughts were running too wildly to fully absorb the full implications, but vague understanding bloomed. Of course, it was a set up. Why had I expected anything else? He revels in my pain, so if he had no reason to punish me, why wouldn’t he orchestrate one? I saw shame flicker Darius’ face, which only inflamed my anger.

I took off toward the door in a sprint. I didn’t care that either of the teo men could stop me, I had to try. My self preservation pushed me forward. As if anticipating this, Lucien reached out and snatched my wrist in an iron grip. I grabbed my own hand and tugged in the direction of his fingers easily slipping free.  I slid to the left to avoid his next grip and ran past Darius, who stood as if entranced.

My fingertips grazed the handle as Lucien’s elbow hooked around my neck like a noose and dragged me backward. Darius’ hand flew to the hilt of his sword.

“Eh eh eh,” Lucien chastised. I felt a cool pinprick on the side of my neck. “One movement and I let her bleed out in front of you.”

Darius lowered his hand from the hilt of his blade. Lucien wrestled an item from his side and tossed it at Darius’ feet. The whip plopped on the ground like a dead snake. His face paled as he looked upon it, as if it would spring to life and strike him. My fear was draining down to my feet fast as I receded into myself. It was not a death sentence.

“Administer 5 lashes,” Lucien ordered.

“I-I can’t.” Darius looked between me and the whip. I tried my hardest to motion my eyes to his sword. I flexed my fingers, hidden from where Lucien could see.

Goddamn it, Darius. If you can’t then I will. I flicked my eyes to his sword, but he gave a slight shake of his head, still thinking I meant him to use it.

“You will, or she dies here and now. Doesn’t matter to me either way. Just pick one.” Lucien shrugged, letting the sword draw small drops of blood at my neck. Darius leans down, picking up the whip from his feet, no longer looking at me.

Lucien roughly turned me, his sword slicing down to reveal my bare back. He left a hairline thin cut down my spine, the halves of my tunic fluttering to the ground. I turned my face down so he could not see the few tears that sprang free from humiliation. I would not let him bask in it.

I heard a rustle behind me, grateful I could not see Darius commit this cowardly act. Still I would never forgive him. Instead I looked into Lucien’s face as he gave Darius the order to count.

I heard the crackle of the whip before feeling the sting, as if my flesh was set on fire. A cry that morphed into maniacal laughter through heaving breaths tore through me. Lucien looked amused, positively radiating at my pain. So I smiled back. While I’m sure it was more of a grimace through bared teeth and tears, his face dropped.

“One,” Darius said hoarsely behind me. But I was not focused on him. I could only feel the pain licking the flames of my fury as I stared ahead.

Darius continued counting. Each one after in quick succession to prevent drawing it out. Each hit wracked my body sending me lurching forward. I was gasping and sobbing, horrible animalistic sounds coming from my throat as warmth trickled down my back. But my smile ruined his mood.

Once Darius was finished, Lucien waved us away. I began to turn, desperate to get away, but my knees buckled. My skin crawled where Darius caught me. I wanted to shove him away, but I didn’t have the strength. Thea whip lay at his feet still coated in my blood as he carried me to my room, careful not to touch my lower back. Luckily, he had excellent aim. All the strikes were centered in the same area. It was the only gesture of kindness he could offer me. I was unconscious before we reached my room.

*********************

The next day was spend with Odessa tending to my back, with me writhing and sweating against the pain. When she came into my room, I still not had put a shirt on, not wanting the fabric to stop to the fresh wounds. Her full lips pressed into a taut line. She didn’t say anything as she brought out her herbs and layers of gauze and bandages. She methodically cleaned the area, giving me small updates like : “This may sting.” “Hold still for just a moment” “I’m almost finished.”

When she finished and she turned around to face me, concern and anger flicked across my friend’s face. “When you are well, you have to leave.” She said, holding my hands. My best friend had tears in her eyes.

“Where will I go where he won’t find me?” I replied.

Odessa frowned. She knew as well as I did it would only infuriate him further if I fled. Lucien views these things as a challenge, and he never turned down a challenge. My face was dry. I needed a plan but I couldn’t think in this much pain. I laid gingerly on my side, Odessa laying on the pillow next to me. Finally the blood began to clot and scab, allowing me to get precious hours of sleep.

Lucien called on me two days later. Odessa was helping me change my old bandages when a guard knocked. She quickly helped me throw a shirt over my head.

“Lucien requires the presence of Miss Vesperell immediately,” the guard said.

Odessa’s clenched. I gently touched her arm.

“Okay,” I said. I gave Odessa’s arm a light squeeze before exiting, the guard following next to me, seemingly not worried I should run. We were headed to the dining hall and began to relax as I heard a great number of voices within the room.

The guard opened the door for me, revealing a party of ten guests. They were all enraptured, crowded around an animated Lucien who was telling them some anecdote that had him pacing about.

“Ah there is the beautiful lady herself. Cordelia dear,” he walked over and placed a soft peck on my cheek. “These lovely people are part of the  Court of Westfall. They were stuck here last night when their horses suddenly became ill, but how lucky are we to have such wonderful company.” He gestured to them and gave a wink that set some of the fine ladies fanning themselves.

Lucien was always sweet after his outbursts. It made me nauseous to even stand next to him. I hid my disgust in a short curtsy and soft greeting to the guests. Lucien steered me over to the seat next to him, snapping his fingers to get my plate piled high with all of my favorite foods. He was especially trying to win my favor with buttery rosemary chicken and thick pieces of dark chocolate piled around me.

I picked at my food, feeling betrayed by my mouth watering at the savory taste. Lucien continued on with his story, downing wine and talking of a time he had gone hunting and accidentally gotten a fox instead of the rabbit they both had been hunting.

“You should have seen this one. She nearly wept a river over the poor creature,” Lucien laughed, stuffing his mouth with food. His ring gleamed on his finger as he brought his nearly empty glass to his lips, the dark liquid swirling as he moved. “I’m glad we have other people to hunt for us. If it were up to my soft Cordelia, we’d surely starve!”

The fine ladies and gentlemen chuckled, also feeling loose from the effects of wine. They hardly glanced at me, enraptured by Lucien’s story telling. Lucien sipped from their unwavering attention like the finest nectar.

“Well, she’s still recovering from an illness so I’m afraid she must retire now.” Lucien put on a fake pout, eliciting sympathetic glances from his guests.

I placed my fork down with a trembling hand. Of course I had been dismissed after serving the purpose of the punchline. Lucien turned his cheek so I may kiss him before leaning, the guard still waiting by the door.

I stood up, smoothing my skirts down my front, trying to push down the anger climbing up my body. As I leaned down, I placed my hand over top of his and brushed my lips near his ear.

“One day, I will fucking kill you.” I said. My whisper hardly audible but strong and clear.

I walked away, not checking for his reaction. I pushed out the door, the guard struggling to keep pace. A few moments later, the door opened again. Lucien held my wrist until I turned around, his face was blank.

“You won’t kill me. I keep you safe, fed, clothed. You would be nothing without me. You are nothing.” He pressed a kiss onto my lips at the same time as he pressed his fingertips into the fresh gauze on my back. He swallowed the stifled scream that came from my lips. The guard just stood there unaware and useless to stop anything.

“What? You put on such a brave little act before. Come now, I’m just returning the favor,” Lucien chuckled mirthlessly.

“I don’t care what it takes. I’m going to be the last thing you see as your life drains from your body,” I spoke as if I could weave the threads of fate with my words. Soon the pain became too strong and I keeled over, vomiting the once delicious food all over the floor. Lucien’s nose just wrinkled in disgust.

“Make sure she sees a healer and don’t let her leave until there’s no trace of her wounds. I’m tired of her ruining my carpet,” Lucien addressed the guard. He nodded and put an arm underneath mine to lead me away. While my throat burned and my back throbbed, Lucien’s ring sat heavy in my skirt pocket, marking each step away from him against my thigh.